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Prada Bi-Color Suede Mary Jane Boots: Something Wicked This Way Comes

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How many ways are there to say no? Definitely not enough for these freakish Mary Jane boots! No, your eyes aren’t deceiving you. This is not a photo of a red shoe on a very peculiar leg. No prosthetics involved, either. These are Prada‘s new hybrid shoe-boots, which look like an unfortunate Halloween costume. Or a prop from “Wicked.” And I probably don’t have to tell you it’s a really bad sign if your boots call to mind the bottom half of an evil witch’s set of gams. Even without the silly flesh-toned boot, these Mary Janes are no ruby slippers. No self-respecting Dorothy would approve of that knobby button!

Too lazy to shave? Craving the look of suede legs? Can’t decide between a demure Mary Jane and a knee-high boot? I can’t imagine the motivation to even consider trying to work these into your wardrobe. The only acceptable reason to wear these would be due to extreme cold, but then again, just wear normal boots! At Saks Fifth Avenue for $1,400.

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