What in the world is this? I wish my eyes were deceiving me because what I see are five pairs of shoes crammed into one, none of which match each other. Beyond indecisive, Prada’s wedge is schizophrenic. As in certifiably, straitjacket-wearing crazy, and not even in a fun, exciting way! It’s a Neapolitan ice cream sandwich-style mash-up of rubber-soled hiking boot and romantic espadrille: what sense does that make? The granny-style lace-up canvas (with an out-of-place sexy cutout, no less) is just plain dowdy and unprepared for the extreme heel it’s perched upon. It’s like the upper and the heel don’t even know the other exists. This shoe needs to make a decision about the direction it wants to go in. Because for now that direction is nothing but confusing and ugly. At Bergdorf Goodman for $695.