Behold- the perfect shoe if you want to disguise yourself as an afghan and lie around all day on your couch sipping mimosas and being a blob (where do I sign up?).
Enter- the shoe made straight from your Grand Mama’s blanket-and they stuck that shit on a shoe. I give you the Dolce & Gabbana Woven Crochet-Flower Pump.
In the description on Neiman Marcus website they call it a “Carefree color,” which I guess is accurate because if I didn’t care much regarding what I looked like, orange, rust, yellow and puke might be on my list of colors to wear. It also comes in a red/purple/green/brown mixture with is equally as confusing. I would need to buy a matching snuggie to make this work, and snuggies are hard to walk in and almost impossible to dance in. I say almost because I definitely have danced in my snuggie while playing Guitar Hero, but it certainly wasn’t easy.
Second, have you ever shuffled out on your porch wrapped up in your blanket to argue with your neighbor because you were bouncing around too much while playing Guitar Hero and you knocked her favorite zebra photo off her wall and it hit her stupid cat- and while arguing- got your afghan dirty?* No? Just me? Well trust me when I say dirty blankets are no fun, and they wouldn’t be anymore awesome on your feet. Sweet, I am now wearing sponges of grossness. Pretty.
Neiman Marcus for $545.
*Yes, that really happened, and when she came a knockin’, she was wearing a tweedy bird shirt. I win.
That title was awesome. And then I kept reading. Hah! So tell me, how do you really feel about this shoe? Oh, I hate this too.