Sarah Jessica Parker’s pale yellow Chanel Haute Couture gown aside, where were fashion’s risk takers Sunday night? If Maggie Gyllenhaal in a Dries van Noten silk duchess fifties print dress with overprint hand painted in bright blue brush strokes was as controversial as things got, then, fashion wise, this might be the most disappointing Oscars on record–or at least since Joan Rivers started her scathing critiques.
Without a doubt, my best dressed of the night goes to Penelope Cruz. The “Nine” actress kept it safe with a custom Donna Karan Collection gown that was cut in the most tone-flattering Bordeaux hue. Penelope knows what silhouettes work for her and kudos to her for sticking to her guns and for wearing a dress designed by a woman who designs with true sincerity for her gender. On the other end of the spectrum, I admire Jennifer Lopez for having the chutzpah to don a mermaid silhouette Armani Privé gown that not only accentuated her curves, but was constructed with a crescent-shaped bustier that cascaded into a dramatic side train accented by Swarovski rock crystals. It couldn’t been a train wreck, but Lopez’s risk paid off. My other top picks? Cameron Diaz in Oscar de la Renta (retro glam), Tina Fey in Michael Kors (most improved), Diane Kruger in Chanel Haute Couture (so thin!), Demi Moore in Atelier Versace (very safe), and Carey Mulligan in Prada (although the shoes were a bit too chunky). Take note of Carey’s dress: it features tiny forks, knives, bolts, watch gears and scissors covering the corset. In terms of kitsch, she’s got this one won hand’s down!
While I love every bit of Sandra Bullock, I found her Marchesa gown to be a bit mother-of-the-bride; I would’ve preferred her in a brighter shock of color. It was her night and I just didn’t think that dress screamed “Oscar Winner!” (Kudos, however, to Georgina Chapman for fitting Gabourey Sidibe in a ravishing Marchesa number and proving all heavier-set women don’t have to wear Tadashi). The same could be said of Charlize Theron’s Dior Haute Couture: the color is divine and Charlize fits it like a glove, but was I the only one who couldn’t stop staring at her chest? Perhaps that is the genius that is John Galliano’s design, but it didn’t do much for me besides make me want to buy a bra. As for high fashion, Zoe Saldana took a calculated risk with her Givenchy Haute Couture gown. The results were controversial to say the least, but I have to say I’m on Team Riccardo Tisci; I found it to be fascinating and equally fitting of a young ingénue as fine-featured as Zoe (that crystallized bodice was a work of art). It’s no doubt a lot of dress, but fashion needs more risk takers. What’s with all this vanilla on the red carpet–and I don’t mean Miley Cyrus’ horrid Jenny Packham gown. Also, Anna Kendrick needs a new stylist stat–one that can find her age-appropriate dresses.
Let me close my critique of the Oscars by asking: where were all the heavy-hitters? Angelina Jolie? Jennifer Aniston? Nicole Kidman? Cate Blanchett? Halle Berry? Am I the only one who thought there was a serious shortage of bold-faced names to walk that never-ending red carpet? Actually, nevermind the celebrities; where were the true red carpet gowns? Lanvin? Balenciaga? L’Wren Scott? My dream? To have seen someone try their hand at a custom leather gown designed by Phoebe Philo for Celine. But in this age of mediocrity completely devoid of personal style, I suppose it was too much to ask for.
