I am so happy to have the Golden Globes back, it is the best awards show because it looks like a real party, both film and TV stars are drinking champagne together. Before I do the fashion coverage, there are a couple of observations I need to make. Well, let’s first start with a question; Was there a botox truck outside servicing everyone or something? Did you notice Tom Cruise forehead? No longer the Grand Canyon size creases and with his Risky Business hair, he looks a good 20 years younger. And Demi Moore, Hello!! Freaking HOT! When I’m 50 I’m gonna date a 20 years old too instead of getting surgery. Don’t worry, my husband will agree to this cheaper alternative. I also noticed a lot of look-a-likes. Renee Zellweger with her just got out of bead spiky hair looks oddly like Sharon Stone. Cameron Diaz is starting to look like the Olsen twins, which isn’t good for the Olsen twins. Mickey Rourke combined the looks of Jack Nicholson’s Joker and Steven Tyler for the worst look of the night. Drew Barrymore of course is channeling Marylin Monroe after a visit to the Oval Office. The I just woke up and clipped my hair back look was a huge trend last night. OK, let’s get to it. Fun for me but bad for fashion, I will mostly focus on Slob misses since the Snob hits were all pretty boring and beige.
Big Bold Collar Necklaces
These ladies went safe with gowns but WOW with their jewelry. I absolutely love the turquoise on Eva Mendes, although it was not given a deserving dress to go with. White with turquoise? Let’s leave that look for Nascar. The stunner on Christina Applegate from Lorraine Schwartz makes me want to sell my car to have! And of course Beyonce had her proper bling with the petal-like loops in diamonds, also from Lorraine Schwartz.
Protruding Obstruction Gowns
Maggie Gyllenhaal either has no friends or is missing a mirror in her dressing room. Why would she leave the house looking like this? The offensive print by Lanvin is magnified with the added poof and folds. Following this trend is Eva Mendes with enlarged hanging fan from her hips.
Tacky and Lame Lamé
Jennifer Lopez in Marchessa, let’s just say there will never be another Versace show stopper for her and her trying to top it is tacky on top of tacky. She should not allow her husband to choose her looks.
Tight Clingy Slob
She should have left the burrito and beer behind. I love Blake Lively, she is adorable and has a great body – a real body not a stick thin body, but along with the perks of having curves is the curse of bulge. This is why you should always prepare Spanx in your luggage.
Mummified Slob
Sure Brooke Burke stood out from the yawners of the night but she opted for this complicated and sloppy gown with way too many things going on.
Leftover Christmas Gift Bag
Was she scrubbing the floors before she got to the show? Why is the dress so wrinkled at the bottom? Not that it matters, this giant gold bag is a terrible way to recycle wrapping paper.
Hot Snob
Yeah, it’s boring but damn does she look good in this Dior by John Galliano!
Cleans Up Well Snob
Rumor Willis should keep this stylist! She looks appropriately cute and chic in this Reem Acra plum dress. Her makeup is also incredibly flattering for her. Hope he took notes so she can keep this look.
Sloppy Slobby Slipup
What happened to Renee Zellweger? She just erased a lifetime of red carpet perfection. First of all, like I said, she looks kind of like Sharon Stone, but why the bed head? It’s not even sexy. And I don’t know where to start with this Carolina Herrera monster. The top is ill-fitted, those shoulder and arm openings are out of place, the sheer fabric looks like lingerie with the nude showing underneath, the top and bottom are incongruous and that mermaid tail is super GIANT! Hate this, she was the worst dressed of the night.
Snob Inspiration
Demi Moore in this Dior will now be my role model for what is hot and stylish for middle age. OK, it’s mean to even say she is middle age looking the way she does. Anyway, just keep doing what she is doing because she actually looks better now than 10 years ago.