Our Golden Globe “Shit” List
You date a hot young guy and you’re bound to feel the pressure. So what did Alanis Morissette do? She went and dyed her hair yellow and made like she’s a high school surf betty. If you want to look young when you’re sagging, don’t wear strapless with no support.
OK, its all about appropriate coverage when it comes to dressing and Pamela Anderson’s dress was made with one too many bolts of fabric. Girl, show your boobs!! That’s what you are here for, entertain us with your prized assets.
On the other hand, Mariah Carey had not enough coverage. She was showing side boobs, which is gross. And that dress – gross. Her whole look was gross. And she looked like a giant. What’s happened to her?
Not to obsess about boobs or anything but there seems to be a theme. Who cares about Virginia Madsen really but I just have to ask, is she breastfeeding?
Hilary Swank’s front side must be hideously scarred because she only shows her back. And I do feel bad for her breakup but she could have at least brushed her hair.
I know it’s not nice to make fun of pregnant ladies but if you’re trying to streamline the body, don’t go and wear a dress made out of frilly bed sheets. I’m sorry, Gwyneth Paltrow looked like a wedding cake. Fine, her face was beautiful. But we have to give her the shit stick for not being able to pronounce Nicolas Ghesquiere – its “GASkee-ay”. By the way, she really is not as smart as people think she is.
We are truly disappointed with Reese Witherspoon because we like her so much, she usually has such good style but this vintage Chanel is disproportioned and the sequins are scaly. The shiny gold and the white is no good. And we found out that this dress is not really vintage, its just an old dress.
Scarlett Johansson’s dress was pretty boring but you can always count on her to show off her rack. At least her hair was done nicely and not in a bird nest-like fashion.
Michelle Williams thought this was prom.
Penelope Cruz’s hair has taken over her entire body. And I can’t understand a word she’s saying.
And for the most disheartening on our shit list, Drew Barrymore. It’s so hard for us to call her out because she is just adorable but it’s got to be done. Honey, the ruffled sleeves added girth to your big floppy boobs. A bra would have been nice. And a few squats wouldn’t hurt your hips and ass.
Thank you E Online and NBC for these pictures.